GOOD BYE AND GOOD RIDDANCE
To: Kotow Shergar
I’m pissed at you, so don’t think I am using “dearest” in any way other than that intended by Christina Crawford when referring to her mother, Joan, in her memoir, Mommy Dearest. (Never mind that Christina’s younger sister, Cindy, said the memoir was a fabrication… that is beside the point.)
How dare you leave us just because someone is willing to “pay” you “money.” Have you no principles? Don’t you see this for what it is, a bribe, pure and simple?
Have you done any research on this new “employer” of yours? They claim to be “America’s finest news source” but the quality of their “reporting” is abysmal. Those who take them seriously end up with egg on their faces. Consider when the Beijing Evening News picked up on the report that Congress threatened to leave Washington D. C. unless a new Capitol was built for them. Or when a Danish TV station used their story that Sean Penn demanded to know “What asshole took SeanPen@gmail.com?” And then there was the time MSNBC re-ran the “news” that 58 percent of all the exercise perfomed in the U. S. A. is televised.
These guys seem to just sit around making stuff up. Actually, now that I think about it, this might be the perfect job for you. It isn’t clear you did the slightest bit of research when you “worked” here.
If you ever decide to write a story for us again, Kotow, you’d better plan on filing it under an assumed name because you’re personal non grata here – you traitor.
You should know that we are henceforth announcing our CAMPAIGN TO REPLACE YOU.
Any readers out there interested in Kotow’s Job? We didn’t pay Kotow anything, but we clearly paid him more than he was worth. We can offer you the same terms.
IF YOU WANT TO WRITE FOR US, SEND AN EMAIL TO:
You’ll probably be glad you did.
See, Kotow, you’re good as gone and almost as good as replaced.
Yours truly, with utmost low regard,
PS. Why do you look so happy in this new picture of yours?