L. Vo = 10 x T. Ro
Don’t be Needy, Be Succeedy
book reveiw by: Len Bakerloo
In his latest book, Don’t be Needy, be Succeedy, Spencer gives you everything you need to be a success; namely, the vocabulary. In a mere 248 pages (plus a bonus addendum), you will find the words successful people use, and once you sound like one of them, you will become one of them. After all, if it quacks like a duck, it is a duck. As an added bonus, this encyclopedic dictionary leaves off pronunciation clues because successful people do not waste their time with such things.
There is one exception that proves the rule – While the book was published as an “A to Zed” in Britain, it has been released for the U. S. market as an “A to Zee,” because focus groups revealed that: 1) we suspect that “zed” is not a word, and 2) while everyone can pronounce the first letter of our alphabet, the large minority of us with ADHD never made it to the end.
Think you are already a success?
Take this simple test.
Have you heard of:
- Chromatic Intelligence?
- Retro Hetero?
- Urban Tribal Drumming?
Add up your “no” answers. If the sum is zero or greater, then you are a failure. Need further proof? Successful people do not spend their time taking simple tests. Instead, they read L. Vo’s book and turn their Negatality into Positality.
Don’t be Needy helps you hone your elevator speech with simple fill-in-the-blank forms: “I am great because…” “You should buy these because …” “Please go out with me because…” You will learn to re-write your resume, so as to cut through a hiring manager’s Emailistrom by turning your vacation on a tropical island into a “project in the developing world,” and by upgrading time spent in a Pub into “Hospitality Management” experience.
Before you make a final decision on purchasing this book, stare at the blank space below and allow its subliminal messages sink deep into your subconscious.
— Beginning of Subliminal Message —
You need this book.
You must have this book.
You have no choice but to buy this book.
Your life will turn to poop if you do not buy this book.
— End of Subliminal Message —
You will know when you have looked at this long enough because you will find yourself reaching for your credit card. Until this happens, keep staring.
When your book arrives, put it in your lavatory. You need not complete it in a single sitting; but before you know it, you will purge yourself of the bad, and you will begin to hear your body tell you that your needs have been met, and it is time to become Succeedy.
This book is the only book you will ever need (unless you are a Christian, in which case you also need a Bible).
(If you are illiterate, and someone is reading this review to you, then you will need to wait for the release of this book on CD. Although this will cost you six times as much as the book, it will make you six times the success. We know success is a function of money spent because L. Vaughn Spencer has a graph somewhere that says so.)
WATCH L. Vo. EXPLAIN HIMSELF:
 One guy I heard about.
 Consisting of 2 printed pages and 9 blank ones for your notes (if you include the inside of the back cover).
 Or a quack.
 All Capitalized Words (ACWs) and Three Letter Acronyms (TLAs) in this article that do not qualify as crossword puzzle answers are copyrighted by L. Vaughan Spencer, with the exception of Negatality and Positality, which are available for license from Len Bakerloo. (Quantity discounts available.)
NOTE: Whatever you do, don’t believe those guys over at No Shortage of Work who think this guy’s real name is Neal Mullarky. They are full of malarky. Whatever you do, do not listen to their interview of Neal.